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March 24, 2009
You’ve checked out your new love interest visually,- now you are ready to move to the second criterion for partner picking. Once the mouth opens and the words tumble out, the opportunity is ripe to positively support your choice, or rule out that person. Voice is one of the most important factors affecting the perception you have of others. ‘It’s not
what you say but how you say it’ movie star and vamp, Mae West stated long ago. Behavioural researchers Loretta Malandro and Larry Barker in their book Nonverbal Communication say ‘the minute you begin to speak, your spoken image becomes dominant and overrides your visual image. When you talk to someone you can either destroy or reinforce the non-verbal messages you are sending via your clothing, gestures, facial expression, posture and other nonverbal communication.’
Be yourself as you speak. Remember that it may not be the way you say your words or your voice that is unattractive but actually what you are saying. Potential turn-offs are:
•talking so much you don’t have time to listen
• topics not interesting to your partner: don’t be an insensitive bore
• not understanding the art of asking questions
If your room is predominantly pink
Being a pale version of red, pink still has passion and energy in it, but not as much as red. If you have chosen a predominantly pink bedroom you wish and need to be treated with love, thoughtfulness and caring, and you will want to reciprocate those feelings. It is useful to add a touch of pink to every bedroom to awaken love, compassion, nurturing and understanding. If you pine for pink in your bedroom it may indicate you have a need to protect your inner self, and perhaps that you are afraid to show your own vulnerability.
Because pink is a feminine and intuitive colour, many men find it uncomfortable to be in a bedroom dominated by it, so be aware of this when decorating – small touches are often better when it comes to pink or red. When we discuss the styles of bedrooms you will discover that pink is typical of the Romantic.
If green is your preferred bedroom colour, you have created a retreat from the stresses of the external world. This is your area to retire to and be healed. Gravitating to green gives a sense of relaxation and rejuvenation in your bedroom, as though you are communing with nature in your own private rainforest. You have a deep longing to be loved and to belong, and relationships are very important to you and your wellbeing. Various forms of green are often used in Practical style bedrooms.
People favouring greens are pragmatic, realising the fundamental use of a bedroom is for rest and sleeping, and green is the best colour for this. If you have trouble sleeping, try having a green bedroom or at least placing some of this colour in a prominent position in the bedroom.
The Town and Country bedroom is a casual, relaxed and friendly style. Its main focus is physical comfort and texture. With its design based on casual country style living, both curves and angles are used, often together. It is an inviting and comfortable, yet sturdy country look which also works well in the city.
Texture is the most obvious feature of a Town and Country bedroom, with both visual and tactile texture be.ng a fabrics and furniture. The smooth polished clean lines of Classic are not for Town and Country. They prefer the sturdy, chunky, well-worn or distressed look of country style timber furniture. The bed is often wooden with bed ends.
This style of bedroom has either a soft and inviting doona, or a patchwork bedspread. Often, because of the style of bed chosen, there is no need for a valance. It is not a tailored look at all. Sheets and pillowslips are cotton fabric in plain natural colours, cottage prints or gingham checks. Many large soft pillows are on the bed as they add to the creation of a comfortable and inviting atmosphere. Symmetry in placement of pillows or accessories is avoided since being neat and tidy is not of prime importance to a Town and Country.
Colours used in furniture are natural and neutral tones of off-white, cream or beige, or light- to medium-coloured timbers are popular. Fabrics are in natural or neutral colours or medium-toned colours similar to those which appear in cottage prints. Texture is almost always a feature on any plain fabrics used for curtains, bedcovers and seats.
The Town and Country style is a great mix of city conveniences teamed with the feel and comfort of the country. The best of both worlds. These people choose medium to large scale furnishings and accessories and often mix patterns because in nature that happens anyway. They make texture on chairs, bed covers, photo frames, picture frames, carpet or timber floors, light fittings, furniture, fabrics and dried flowers an essential element, even if they are unaware of it.
Creatives are bower birds who love rummaging around at local markets to collect all sorts of unrelated items and they somehow find unique ways of combining them to create their own style. This may well look like an appalling mess to many people, but it is easy to see the owners are artistic and creative individuals.
The one thing common to all Creatives is the passion they feel for each item in the room. They often feel strong emotional ties to furniture and accessories, no matter whether they are family hand-me-downs or fascinating market finds. There is always a story to tell with every item.
Yet some Creatives have a more ordered look, with unusual art pieces dominating the room, perhaps with an abstract nude behind the bed. Collections of curios such as unusual musical instruments, may decorate other walls. Creatives always find unconventional ways to combine and display their bits and pieces.
Accessories in a Creative bedroom include unusual items placed together with perhaps colour (even the same colour or opposing colour) as the common factor. Textures vary and nothing is used that is mass produced, or copied from anyone else, or used in a conventional way for them. That’s too predictable. One thing you can be sure of, the creative loves the bedroom and its treasures and loves to take you on a guided tour if you ask. Another constant with a Creative – the bedroom will not stay looking like that for too long. Creatives decorate the bedroom for themselves and part of the fun is to make constant change.
The Contemporary style is based on simplicity, clean lines and vibrant colours. Shiny smooth surfaces, minimal decoration, angular rather than curved shapes, with unusual combinations of bright colours, is typical of their style. Similar to the Dramatics, but much more relaxed, these people are not detail conscious, preferring a minimalist decor, free of clutter and extraneous objects.
The Contemporary style can initially appear aloof, but they really love to be with people. They are very sensitive, caring and friendly when you get to know them. In interpersonal relationships they prefer the direct approach, so say what you mean. They love to be seduced and romanced, but not fussed over. They love spontaneity and surprises, so don’t seduce in the same way each time as they’ll get bored with it. Flexibility and freedom in their sex lives is important. This doesn’t mean flexibility and freedom with different partners, as they tend to be very loyal in a long-term relationship.
Above all, Contemporaries love to have fun. Make them laugh, joke about sex, seduce them with pleasure. They love the playful approach. When they bring the stresses of the day home, as they often do, listen to them, empathise, then gently lighten them up and make them laugh. Go to a restaurant that is simple, modern and classy in decor. It must be trendy with simple and elegant, yet tasty, food. Roughing it is not the best way to seduce a Contemporary.
Seduction should begin in a fun way, either early in the day with a humorous invitation or with some sexual bantering and innuendo. In the bedroom, fresh, clean sheets, perhaps satin, are essential. Create a sensual atmosphere with the use of soft lighting. Continue the sexual banter to set the mood.
Whisper suggestive comments in her ear during the day or leave suggestive notes in places where she will find them. Keep it simple and unusual. Surprise her. Foreplay is important but it should not be an elaborate and detailed process. Find out what she likes and do it!
The Contemporary male creates a simple and uncomplicated lifestyle at home to allow himself more time out with others. He loves lots of fun and pleasure in his leisure time. Take him to an amusement park or a comedy movie or somewhere he can let his hair down and laugh. That will put him in the best mood for the rest of the evening and the pleasures you have in store for him. Keep seduction light-hearted for this man.
Good news: spontaneity and light-heartedness brings happy rewards.